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14 Stouts Walk into a Bar…

If you’re looking for a punchline you won’t find one because these stouts are no joke. This witty joke is courtesy of our lovely graphic designer. So if you like the joke, great! If not don’t take it out on me. Jokes aside, I’ve put together a list of stouts you really ought to give a shot. Since our 12 Beers of Christmas post was so popular, I thought I’d make another beer list. Many stouts are in the same vein, so I wanted to pick some that stand out. Here they are: 14 unique stouts that won’t get lost in a crowded bar.

Java Lava – Pearl Street Brewery

  • Brewery Location: La Crosse, WI
  • Style: Coffee Stout
  • ABV: 6.0%
  • Availability: Seasonal

Pearl Street Brewery loves keeping it local. So where better to get coffee for your java infused stout than a local coffee shop? PSB works with Bean Juice Coffee Roasters to add the perfect mix of coffee into their That’s What I’m Talkin’ ’bout Rolled Oat Stout. The roasted coffee flavor melds together in a satisfying mixture of sweet and roasty (is roasty a word?). It’s rich, but not too heavy. This brew makes for one damn good “Cold Cupppa Joe”.

Java Lava Coffee Stout - Pearl Street Brewery

Java Lava – Pearl Street Brewery


Silurian Stout – Door County Brewing Co

  • Brewery Location: Baileys Harbor, WI
  • Style: Milk Stout with Vanilla
  • ABV: 5.7%
  • Availability: October-April

Named for the sea that once made the peninsula of Door County like Atlantis, the Silurian Stout is a tribute to beginnings. At first sip you get a rich, full-bodied stout. Vanilla bean then follows through for a well-balanced deliciously silky smooth milk stout.

Silurian Stout - Door County Brewing Co

Silurian – Door County Brewing Co×523.jpg


Chuli Stout – Denali Brewing Company

  • Brewery Location: Talkeetna, AK
  • Style: Dry Irish Stout
  • ABV: 5.9%
  • Availability: Year-round

Taking its name from the mighty Chulitna River this brew encompasses the spirit of Denali Brewing. A mighty river, and a mighty beer.  Robust flavors come through and show you its a brew in tribute to the frontier of Alaska. Nitro makes this majestic brew smooth and rich, great for embracing the outdoors. So, get out there. Enjoy a Chuli.

Also, if you happen to be up in Talkeetna make sure to visit Mayor Stubbs the cat, the presiding mayor for the past 19 years.

Chuli Stout - Denali Brewing



Pearl Necklace Chesapeake Stout – Flying Dog Brewery

  • Brewery Location: Frederick, MD
  • Style: Oyster Stout
  • ABV: 5.5%
  • Availability: Year-round

Yes this stout is brewed with oysters. Yes it is also a a smooth easy-drinking stout. Aside from being a superb complement to the magnificent mollusk, Flying Dog uses proceeds from Pearl Necklace to support oyster restoration. Right in the Chesapeake the Oyster Recovery Partnership makes sure there with be plenty of oysters to slurp. Bad pun alert: all around the beer is shucking awesome! Sorry, I had to.

Pearl Necklace Oyster Stout - Flying Dog Brewery

Pearl Necklace – Flying Dog Brewery×1080


Lugene – Odell Brewing Co

  • Brewery Location: Fort Collins, CO
  • Style: Chocolate Milk Stout
  • ABV: 8.5%
  • Availability: February-April

Who doesn’t love chocolate milk? Seriously, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t. This brew is rich and creamy and brings you back to your childhood. Kinda like that scene from Ratatouille. It’s creamy rich sweetness comes from it being brewed with milk sugar and milk chocolate. Looking for a dessert stout? Sprinkle the rim of your glass with some crushed M&M’s and pour away my friends.

Lugene Chocolate Milk Stout - Odell Brewing

PC: Odell Brewing

Storm King – Victory Brewing Company

  • Brewery Location: Downington, PA
  • Style: American Imperial Stout
  • ABV: 9.2%
  • Availability: Year-round

Jet black and strong, this imperial stout is a perfect storm. It has bold roasted flavors, but also a strong hop aroma that entices the nose. Victory describes the beer the best, “Storm King will assault your senses and then soothe your soul.”

Storm King Imperial Stout - Victory Brewing Company

Storm King – Victory Brewing Company


Onward Stout – Yazoo Brewing Company

  • Brewery Location: Nashville, TN
  • Style: Dry Irish Stout
  • ABV: 3.8%
  • Availability: Year-round

This one’s a tad bit weaker than most stouts in terms of ABV, but don’t think that means less flavor. This brew has strong lacing and greets you with espresso. Finish your swallow with a dry smoky finish, hence the dry Irish style. Plus the artwork has a bear wearing a hat and monocle. What’s not to love?

Onward Stout - Yazoo Brewing Company

Onward – Yazoo Brewing Company

Barrel Aged Bomb! – Prairie Artisan Ales

  • Brewery Location: Tulsa, OK
  • Style: Barrel Aged Stout
  • ABV: 13.0%
  • Availability: Limited

Prairie has some pretty ingenuitive beers and many different styles they like to try out. This barrel aged beauty is the result of aging their beer Bomb! in whiskey barrels for months. Prairie Artisan Ales announced a couple of weeks ago on their blog they are now releasing the complex brew and y’all are in for a treat.

Barrel Aged Bomb! - Prairie Artisan Ales

Barrel Aged Bomb! – Prairie Artisan Ales


Moondance – Southbound Brewing Company

  • Brewery Location: Savannah, GA
  • Style: Belgian Style Imperial Stout
  • ABV: 10.6%
  • Availability: Limited

Our second owl of the list, Moondance, is a tribute to Belgian style stouts. On top of the traditional roasted malts, this beer contains notes of spices like cinnamon and nutmeg on top of dark fruit. A full of spice, rich Moondance inspires you to dance in the night as dark as the brew. You’ll probably be ready to dance pretty quickly considering this stout clocks in at 10.6% ABV.

Moondance - Southbound Brewing Company

Moondance – Southbound Brewing Company


Watchstander – Ghostfish Brewing

  • Brewery Location: Seattle, WA
  • Style: Gluten Free
  • ABV: 5.3%
  • Availability: Year-round

I know what you’re thinking: a gluten-free stout? Before you write it off hear me out. This beer has just as much flavor as a regular stout. It is delightfully balanced and still has a rich malt flavor. Except it’s gluten free! So, if you are gluten free and still love dark beer this is the beer for you. Even those who aren’t should definitely give this great beer a try.

Watchstander Stout - Ghostfish Brewing Company

Watchstander – Ghostfish Brewing Company


Blackbeerd – COAST Brewing Company

  • Brewery Location: Charleston, SC
  • Style: Imperial Stout
  • ABV: 9.3%
  • Availability: Winter

This robust canned beauty ain’t fer the regular landlubber. Don your pirate hat and read this description from COAST’s site:

“As dark as the legend of Blackbeerd himself, behold the Imperial Stout. Sweet malts battle roasted grain on the decks of yer tongue. Like a blast from a cannon, hop are followed by smoked malt. Hold on to yer booty, a dark stouts a brewin’.”

Blackbeerd Imperial Stout - COAST Brewing Co

Blackbeerd – COAST Brewing Co


Cashmere Hammer – 3 Sheeps Brewing Co

  • Brewery Location: Sheboygan, WI
  • Style: Rye Stout
  • ABV: 6.5%
  • Availability: Year-round

I had to give a shout out to my hometown of Sheboygan, but don’t think that this beer only makes the list for that reason. It’s truly a fantastic brew. The flavors hit you hard, but not too hard because the nitro makes them soft like cashmere. This brew is bottled with nitro and helps soften the sharp bite of the rye for this multi-dimensional brew. Also, it’s quite satisfying to pop the top and flip the bottle bottoms up as you pour it in a glass.

Cashmere Hammer Nitro Rye Stout - 3 Sheeps Brewing Co

Cashmere Hammer – 3 Sheeps Brewing Co


Close Encounter – Pipeworks Brewing Co

  • Brewery Location: Chicago, IL
  • Style: Hopped Up Stout
  • ABV: 7.0%
  • Availability: Rotating

Can’t decide between light and dark beer? Close Encounter let’s you have both. Similar to a Black IPA, this brew is still creamy and rich like a stout, but with a lingering bitterness and strong hoppy nose. Like the astronaut in the artwork, this other-worldly brew hopes to leave you breathless.

Close Encounter Hoppy Stout - Pipeworks Brewing Company

Close Encounter – Pipeworks Brewing Company


35K – Against the Grain Brewery

  • Brewery Location: Louisville, KY
  • Style: Milk Stout
  • ABV: 7.7%
  • Availability: Rotating

Pitch black and well balanced, this is a great brew to end the list. It’s dark and rich with a creamy smoothness you would expect from a milk stout. It is a little on the sweet side as far as milk stouts go. However, it gets rounded out nicely by a complementing helping of two varieties of hops.

35K - Against the Grain Brewery

35K – Against the Grain Brewery

So there you have it. A list of stellar stouts to pick up on your next beer run. If you want to see more of J. McLoone, check us out on Facebook and sign up for our email newsletter. Cheers!


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